I’m That Little Kid
My mom is a hairstylist. My dad is shiny bald. I’m the little kid who Never comes when called. Bruce Larkin Click Here To See More Poems
Author: bruce
I Wish
I wish I were a butterfly, I wish I were a star. I wish for a giant ice cream cone To eat in my shiny new car. I wish for many wonderful things That will probably never come true. My biggest wish was already granted, I wished for a friend like you! Bruce Larkin Click Here To See More Poems
My Secret Life Away from School
I didn’t brush my teeth last night. I called my sister and started a fight. This morning I didn’t make my bed, Never looked at the book I should’ve read. I spilled, scattered, and made a mess, Then spent too much on a brand new dress. Instead of veggies, I ate chocolate cake. As far as cleaning, I took a break. You work weekends if you’re a priest or a…
Jokes Volume 12
Why wouldn’t the princess kiss the talking frog? Because talking frogs are a lot more valuable than princes. Taylor: Can you come in and fix dinner? Mike: Why, is it broken? Dogcatcher: Does your dog have a license? Tony: Why, was he driving? Where would a carpenter get his education? Boarding school. William: I’ve discovered how to turn an elephant into a bug. Jonathan: How’s that? William: Take away the…
Jokes Volume 11
Why did the lion cross the road? To get to the other pride Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken I come in now? Zachary: What’s the hardest thing about being tackled? Chris: The ground. Samantha: I keep thinking today is my birthday. Brianna: Today is your birthday. Samantha: I know. That’s why I keep thinking it. Why did the goat eat a lamp? It’s on a light diet.…
Jokes Volume 10
Ryan: I think the cat was eating lemons. Megan: Why is that? Ryan: It’s such a sour puss. How do oceans greet each other? They wave. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Denise. Denise who? The knees are connected to the leg bones. Is it best to play ice hockey on a full stomach or an empty stomach? It’s best to play ice hockey on a rink. A truckload of peanuts and…
Jokes Volume 9
Amanda: How do dogs talk to each other on the internet? Tyler: By flea mail. David: I heard that shrimp, crabs and clams don’t like to share. Joe: Who told you that? David: My mom. She said they are all shellfish. What do you call a robot who plays in the rain? Rusty. Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player? She had a pumpkin for a coach. Nicole: Are…
Jokes Volume 8
Jake: What do you call a dog that plays the guitar? Amber: A rocker spaniel Why can fish always weigh themselves? Because they always have scales. How do biologists communicate? Cell phones Tony: I hiked through the swamp yesterday and now my skin has bumps from biting flies. Dave: Then you should quit biting flies. Justin: If you bought five cupcakes for five cents, what would each one be? Matthew:…
Jokes Volume 7
How would you fix a broken bird? With duck tape Lauren: Why did the robber go to the pizza parlor? Tyler: I give up. Lauren: He needed the dough. Why was the centipede late for work? It takes her so long to pick out all of her shoes. What do monsters wear while playing outside? Sunscream The pilot of a crashing plane asked, “Does anyone here pray?” One woman said,…
Jokes Volume 6
Brianna: When don’t turkeys and chickens get along? Jennifer: When they are in a fowl mood. What did the painting tell the judge? I was framed. James: Can you spell cabbage? Taylor: C-A-A-G-E James: What happened to the B’s? Taylor: They flew away. Did you hear about the porcupines that fell in love? They were stuck on each other. Customer: There’s a toad in my soup. Cook: That’s one of…