Jokes Volume 10

Ryan: I think the cat was eating lemons.
Megan: Why is that?
Ryan: It’s such a sour puss.


How do oceans greet each other?
They wave.


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Denise.
Denise who?
The knees are connected to the leg bones.


Is it best to play ice hockey on a full stomach or an empty stomach?
It’s best to play ice hockey on a rink.


A truckload of peanuts and garlic was stolen yesterday.
Police are looking for elephants with bad breath.


Physical trainer: Are you drinking lots of fluids?
Aprille: That’s all I drink.


Why don’t geese play baseball very well?
They keep hitting fowl balls.


City Slicker: How many sheep are in that flock?
Farmer: I’m not sure. Every time I try to count them, I fall asleep.


What nut doesn’t grow on a tree?
A donut.


How do rodents fight bad breath?
Mousewash.


Why were the chickens laughing?
They were reading a yolk book.


James: I always get a sharp pain in my eye when I drink chocolate milk.
Doctor: Try taking the spoon out of the glass.


What time is it when a hippo sits in your rocking chair?
Time to buy a new chair.


Security guard: Some guy just ran out of the store with
a television and a pair of pants.
Manager: Why don’t you chase him?
Security guard: They’re my pants.


Secretary: There is an invisible man in the waiting room.
Lawyer: Tell him I can’t see him.


Customer: This food tastes funny.
Chef: Then why aren’t you laughing?


Why did Robin Hood steal money from the rich?
Because the poor didn’t have any.


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you knew how to yodel.


What kind of beverage do you serve King Arthur?
Royalty.


How do you make a real Texan chili?
Take away his coat.


Why does Dracula drink blood?
Coffee keeps him awake all day.


Brandon: I went ice fishing yesterday.
Josh: What did you catch?
Brandon: A cold.