Ryan: I think the cat was eating lemons.
Megan: Why is that?
Ryan: It’s such a sour puss.
How do oceans greet each other?
The knees are connected to the leg bones.
Is it best to play ice hockey on a full stomach or an empty stomach?
It’s best to play ice hockey on a rink.
A truckload of peanuts and garlic was stolen yesterday.
Police are looking for elephants with bad breath.
Physical trainer: Are you drinking lots of fluids?
Aprille: That’s all I drink.
Why don’t geese play baseball very well?
They keep hitting fowl balls.
City Slicker: How many sheep are in that flock?
Farmer: I’m not sure. Every time I try to count them, I fall asleep.
What nut doesn’t grow on a tree?
How do rodents fight bad breath?
Why were the chickens laughing?
They were reading a yolk book.
James: I always get a sharp pain in my eye when I drink chocolate milk.
Doctor: Try taking the spoon out of the glass.
What time is it when a hippo sits in your rocking chair?
Time to buy a new chair.
Security guard: Some guy just ran out of the store with
a television and a pair of pants.
Manager: Why don’t you chase him?
Security guard: They’re my pants.
Secretary: There is an invisible man in the waiting room.
Lawyer: Tell him I can’t see him.
Customer: This food tastes funny.
Chef: Then why aren’t you laughing?
Why did Robin Hood steal money from the rich?
Because the poor didn’t have any.
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you knew how to yodel.
What kind of beverage do you serve King Arthur?
How do you make a real Texan chili?
Take away his coat.
Why does Dracula drink blood?
Coffee keeps him awake all day.
Brandon: I went ice fishing yesterday.
Josh: What did you catch?
Brandon: A cold.