Why wouldn’t the princess kiss the talking frog?
Because talking frogs are a lot more valuable than princes.
Taylor: Can you come in and fix dinner?
Mike: Why, is it broken?
Dogcatcher: Does your dog have a license?
Tony: Why, was he driving?
Where would a carpenter get his education?
William: I’ve discovered how to turn an elephant into a bug.
Jonathan: How’s that?
William: Take away the first five letters.
Diner: There’s a small bug in my soup.
Waitress: Would you like to exchange it for a larger one?
Rhoda skateboard to school yesterday.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Austin: What would happen if I typed you a long love letter every single day?
Jennifer: You would get sore fingers.
Carlos: Can I have a soda, please?
Hannah: Please bring me a soda, too. Make sure it’s in a clean glass.
Waitress (holding two sodas): Which one of you asked for the clean glass?
Texas Oil Man: Since my oil wells went dry, half of my friends won’t give me
the time of day.
Joe: And the other half?
Texas Oil Man: They don’t know the wells are dry yet.
How do you make a buffalo stew?
Make him wait a long time.
What do you get when you cross a watch and a bug?
Where is a dog’s favorite place to shop?
The flea market.
Daniel: Would you do my homework for me?
Andrew: That wouldn’t be right.
Daniel: Probably not, but try anyway.
Brittany: Is this blueberry or blackberry pie?
Victoria: Can’t you tell by the taste?
Victoria: Then what difference does it make?
What would you do if you met a dragon in the forest?
Roast some hot dogs.
What makes more noise than a boy beating on a drum?
Two boys beating on two drums.
What do you call the skeleton detective?
The skeleton walks into an ice cream parlor and tells the waitress,
“I’ll have a milkshake and a mop.”
What do you call a sad tree?
A blue spruce.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want dinner?
She was already stuffed