Jokes Volume 12

Why wouldn’t the princess kiss the talking frog?
Because talking frogs are a lot more valuable than princes.

Taylor: Can you come in and fix dinner?
Mike: Why, is it broken?

Dogcatcher: Does your dog have a license?
Tony: Why, was he driving?

Where would a carpenter get his education?
Boarding school.

William: I’ve discovered how to turn an elephant into a bug.
Jonathan: How’s that?
William: Take away the first five letters.

Diner: There’s a small bug in my soup.
Waitress: Would you like to exchange it for a larger one?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Rhoda who?
Rhoda skateboard to school yesterday.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

Austin: What would happen if I typed you a long love letter every single day?
Jennifer: You would get sore fingers.

Carlos: Can I have a soda, please?
Hannah: Please bring me a soda, too. Make sure it’s in a clean glass.
Waitress (holding two sodas): Which one of you asked for the clean glass?

Texas Oil Man: Since my oil wells went dry, half of my friends won’t give me
the time of day.
Joe: And the other half?
Texas Oil Man: They don’t know the wells are dry yet.

How do you make a buffalo stew?
Make him wait a long time.

What do you get when you cross a watch and a bug?
A clockroach.

Where is a dog’s favorite place to shop?
The flea market.

Daniel: Would you do my homework for me?
Andrew: That wouldn’t be right.
Daniel: Probably not, but try anyway.

Brittany: Is this blueberry or blackberry pie?
Victoria: Can’t you tell by the taste?
Brittany: No.
Victoria: Then what difference does it make?

What would you do if you met a dragon in the forest?
Roast some hot dogs.

What makes more noise than a boy beating on a drum?
Two boys beating on two drums.

What do you call the skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.

The skeleton walks into an ice cream parlor and tells the waitress,
“I’ll have a milkshake and a mop.”

What do you call a sad tree?
A blue spruce.

Why didn’t the teddy bear want dinner?
She was already stuffed