What do bird comedians do? They crack yolks. Mike: That pig is pretty dull. Kyle: Pretty dull? Mike: Yes. He’s actually a boar. Why can’t the horse committee get anything done? They vote nay on everything. Knock, knock Who’s there? Wilma Wilma who? Wilma dad be here soon? Jonathan: What’s that fly doing in my alphabet soup? Zachary: Trying to learn to read. What do you call a dinosaur that…
Park Ranger: This is a dogwood tree. City Slicker: How can you tell? Park Ranger: By its bark. Gina: What kind of dog is that? Junior: She’s a genuine police dog. Gina: I’ve never seen a police dog that looked like that. Junior: Sshh! She’s working undercover. A fisherman carrying a big fish was walking down the street. A passerby asked, “Where are you going with that fish?” The fisherman…
Traveler: Do you eat spare ribs with your fingers? Cannibal: No, I eat fingers later. Why don’t skeletons have problems with their budgets? Because they don’t have to worry about the cost of living. Liz: I taught my dog how to play chess. Glen: He must be pretty smart. Liz: Not really. I win most of the time. Madison: Can I have an extra large banana split with double syrup…
Ed: Can you go outside and see if it’s raining? Carol: Wouldn’t it be easier to call Justin in and see if he’s wet? Jasmin: Doc, I need help. Psychologist: What’s wrong? Jasmin: I think I’m a dog. Psychologist: Lie down on the couch and we’ll talk about it. Jasmin: I can’t. I’m not allowed on the furniture. What’s a goblin’s favorite game? Hide and go shriek. Langdon: I lost…
Gina: I haven’t felt right since eating clams yesterday. Doctor: Did they look okay when you opened the shells? Gina: You’re supposed to open the shells? Why do skeletons do so well on tests? They always bone up on their studies. Carol: Do you carry pianos? Music Store Clerk: Not any more. I have a bad back. Jose: I’ve been seeing spots lately. Carlos: Have you seen an eye doctor?…
What would a giraffe do If it swallowed a gallon of glue? Would that bad luck Cause it to be stuck With its neck in a giant “U?” Bruce Larkin Click Here To See More Poems
Suzie Shaw has a brand new ball She really doesn’t want to lose. It’s wrapped in the closet in the hall. What good is a ball you don’t use? Bruce Larkin Click Here To See More Poems
I wish I had a nickel. I wish I had a dime. I wish I had some icky stuff. I wish I had some slime. I have some goblin friends Who tell me all the time, We pay five cents for icky stuff For slime, we pay a dime I know why they want it. They say it tastes like honey. If I had slime or icky stuff, I’d trade…
There was once a man named Slim Who went skydiving on a whim. He jumped from a jet And hasn’t landed yet; What could have happened to him? Bruce Larkin Click Here To See More Poems
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Humpty Dumpty is still standing tall. Humpty Dumpty is part rubber ball! Bruce Larkin Click Here To See More Poems