A Big Red Zubwumfer

I decided to play outside,
Though it was a foggy day.
The sun came out suddenly
And burned the fog away.

A big red zubwumfer
Zubwumfered down the street.
It was the oddest zubwumfer
I’ll probably ever meet.

I immediately called the police
To report what I had seen.
In no time at all,
News crews were on the scene.

There had been lots of talk
Of strange creatures on our street.
A zubwumfer was a critter
Everyone wanted to meet.

Most zubwumfers have six tails.
This one only had three.
It was also colored red,
While most are green like a pea.

Zubwumfers are known to be
Much bigger than a horse.
This one was bigger still,
With a longer trunk, of course.

It had the usual small ears
And the standard six legs.
It carried its own root beer
Strapped on its back in kegs.

Some folks think zubwumfers
Don’t even exist
Because zubwumfers are shy
And hide in the fog and mist.

Zubwumfers don’t eat food;
The stories you’ve heard are true.
Fresh foamy root beer
Is their meal and their brew.

Zubwumfers wander the land.
Have you ever heard their calls?
They are searching all over the world
For the land of the root beer falls.

Bruce Larkin